Since the iPad was announced the media has been up in arms about the still lack of support for Flash player. But does it really need it? If i’m  honest I don’t think i have ever really come into a situation that has required me to have Flash support whilst using my iPod touch or iPhone, theres been one or two occasions where a website still uses Flash for the entire site but then I just managed to find the information I required somewhere else or through an app.

I don’t completely dislike Flash, far from it! I grew up on it. Before discovering Flash (at this point in time Flash 5, Still then by Macromedia) I was stuck in the humdrum of basic computer usage, word processing, powerpoint and web browsing, basically the bare minimum ICT had to teach me. I remember when it started to kick off, everyone would be in the suites showing off what they had created, basically some shitty animations, we hadn’t actually worked out that it was created to produce dynamic websites. I probably owe it to Flash that I am interested in technology and design nowadays. It set me off on a path towards where I am today, from Flash I discovered Dreamweaver and then fireworks. I’ve had a copy of Flash ever since.

Although I hold it in high esteem in my past, I believe thats where Flash mostly belongs. Sites that are created entirely in Flash with no HTML equivalent, alienate a huge chunk of the world. In times where information needs to be accessed quickly and efficiently using Flash just takes up valuable time and in the end just makes it a lot harder to find what you want. Not only that it has lost a huge chunk of what it was used for in the mainstream nowadays, I browse the web alot. Probably spend more hours on the internet than i do sleeping, eating, and talking combined. Yet 75% of the time Flash is used for some shitty advert that probably could have been achieved with an animated gif (don’t get me started on them!) Browsing with Chrome at the moment I lack the ability to block Flash like I used to with a simple extension to safari, I don’t want to see Flash adverts!

it’s a well known fact that Flash player is a cpu hog and takes up too much memory. This is ok for simple short youtube videos but for everything else its just a waste in my opinion. I won’t go into detail about HTML5 and its benefits and why I believe it will make the majority of Flash uses defunct. But its not going to be long before we see some serious changes in the webspace, some incredible animation effects can already be achieved with css and javascript, the possibility’s are endless but Flash’s lifespan isn’t!

(Credits go to Teehan + Lax for the iPad psd template)

My UCAS was sent off the other day, and so at the moment I’m just waiting for my choices (which I clearly can’t divulge here) to decide if they want to interview me for a place at their uni. Truth is I’m probably never going to further than an interview. I have no confidence in myself let alone my work. My work may be of a high calibre as I’m told by people around me but I just can’t see it.

Speaking of work I managed to pass the first section of my foundation course late last year. This I thought was great. I could move onto doing something I love. Graphic Design, it’s just what I do, it’s what I love. But (and there’s always a but with my life) I just can’t get on, I’m pretty sure I’m the class outcast. I’d just managed to fit in with most people in my tutor to find myself truly fucked in this new class. People rarely talk to me (even then it’s just to get past or to borrow a pen) the people that do talk to me are great but it’s not even a handful. I speak to other people but it’s just usual smoking conversation whilst having a fag in the freezing temperatures England seems to be having at the moment (all this snow, it’s just crazy). As soon as the door to the class is opened and I’m back in the room, it’s just silence. This could of course just be entire paranoia on my part, but who knows.

I’m dead worried about my graphics work though. I never seem to manage to finish a project on time. And I still haven’t finished my first project from December. I only have like 2 weeks left till marking which scares the shit outa me. I can’t afford to fuck this all up as I do everything else in my life. I’ve applied to prestigious uni’s for the sole reason I don’t want to be stuck in a shit hole for the next 3 years, but the way things are going I’m going to be stuck in a dead end job till I die.

To any uni’s deciding to do research on my before giving me an interview don’t see this as an opportunity to brush me under a carpet. I’m a massive hard worker it’s just my huge attention to detail which let’s me down in the long run.

Balancing a job, uni and a very time demanding relationship doesn’t help. Trying to fit everything in is terrible.
I need to do my work for uni to do what I love. I need to go to work to keep myself afloat and fund my habits of drinking and smoking way too much afloat, as well as the usual art supplies printer ink and travel. I also need to see my girlfriend to keep our relationship alive, she’s already turned to someone else once when I was busy on other things. Keeping her happy and doing everything else is such a pain and an impossible seeming task.

Another thing with uni, I’m scared shitless of leaving my girlfriend and my best friend behind. At the pub the other day I realised that my best friend Sarah Is everything that I need in a friend she’s my rock when I am having problems and she’s always there. We help each other and it’s a great partnership. I want her to move away wherever I go but I bet she won’t.

I’m probably just being pathetic but everything is just so HARD! I’m going to have to make cutbacks somewhere, wherever I look though it seems impossible to cut it down anywhere. Speaking about still being awake at this time. Most nights I’m not sleeping at all. I don’t know if it’s worry or if it’s just my total un-ability to switch off. I’m a hugely paranoid person and I find It hard to shut down always worrying about something, that and I’m always there sketching and brainstorming for some new project or personal piece (I really want to make myself some wallpaper). Is this what life is. I’ve peaked at the age of 18, and I’m just awaiting death to come join me for a quick pint and then off to hell!

I’m really hoping that I get Into a uni I love and everything is going to be hunkydory I really do. I just feel like I don’t really know. WHY AM I SO GOD DAMN AMBIGUOUS! Uni, life, love it can only get better right :s hahah!

JUST KEEP SMILING!

I am currently still awake at this god awful hour of 4am because I am such a fuckup that I have managed to leave all my work to the last minute as per usual. I dont even know how I do it, I even said when I started at uni I would actually do work as I went along. I started so well. now its just well. Up shit creek!

All this has made me consider why I’m such a fuckup and its almost impossible to know. All i know is that I have been one for a very long time, too long to remember. Along with having way too much work to do I seem to be ruining everything good in my life. My partner and I seem to be arguing all the time, we never used to talk like we used to and I can only ever see it as my problem. A day doesn’t go past where we dont have one argument or another and everything is trying on my patience so much. This being my first real relationship I often wonder whether this is just what its meant to be like. Along with this I seem to have the worse money management which is also where arguments tend to arise from. I want to do something we cant do or she wants to do something we cant which leads to much shouting and blaming me for my apparent bad lifestyle. I honestly just don’t know where I’m meant to go from now. It’s increasingly frustrating that I dont know what I am. Happy. Sad. JUST WHAT THE FUCK AM I MEANT TO FEEL! Everything just builds up and at times I just want to chuck it all in because I wonder if it would be better.

I’ve been in this relationship for nearly 9 months now and I dont think theres ever a time where there isn’t something wrong. Those who know me well know how hard it was to start this relationship and I guess that’s why I feel like I should just give it one more chance. It’s always just one more chance though, one more chance seems to have stretched to about 10 now! Life nowadays is just such an emotional rollercoaster. It used to be so simple I’d get up and do whatever my dull life required me to do. Now I’m constantly paranoid about what the future holds, what do I do if I fail at university? Is my work really good enough? I swear everyone else’s work actually merits the comments they get? Adding in the pressure of university to my general fuckup of a life just means one more pain and just one more thing to fuckup thing is I really can’t afford to fuck it up. yet I still am .

It would be so easy to just chuck everything in and move into the rhythms of life but I don’t know I just cant seem to give up on everything. I’ve worked so hard for this relationship but I just can’t get over the feeling that its just not right! My uni work is it really worth it? Am I ever going to really make it as a graphic designer? (pretty doubtful). I seem to be getting so angry right now as well I’m flying off the handle at people that don’t really deserve it, my partner included. Its scaring even myself let alone people that know me about why I am getting so angry over the slightest thing. Everything is just so much pressure to perform. Must it be?

I’d like someone to come and just transform my entire attitude to life but then again would it actually be better? my life just seems full of so many what if’s right about now. I’d probably just end up fucking up the life that someone had transformed for me. I think that my life honeymoon period is over and I would really like to extend it a bit longer at least till i can settle into the humdrum of adult life. That’s another thing I keep being told I need to mature because I am an adult now. Since when did being 18 mean you had to act like you were 35 in a dull marriage with kids you resent and an office job where all you really want to do is smash your head through your computer monitor (I want to do that now actually, although I’m more likely to break my head rather than my iMac’s screen). So lets recap. I’m a fuckup!

Right so know that were back on track, I need to rant further I guess part of the reason I’m ranting on here is because of a newly found friend Laura Jane Barnes. Currently her blog exhibits the best in reflective writing that I have seen in years and also a fellow student at the same university as myself. Something she posted today just seemed to ring with me…..

“I almost feel like I’m having an out of body experience, as if I’m just a spectator, hovering over my own body, watching everything that happens in my life without being directly involved with it. I have moments where I jump back into my head and everything hits me like a mallet, square between the eyes. It’s ridiculous.”

The idea of her feeling like she’s hovering over her body sorta just related to me but in the opposite way I feel like I have someone hovering above me possibly me but me the real life grounded person is just a puppet to this hovering being, this menace, this god of Jacob. I don’t like feeling like a cheap thunderbird but I dont see how to change this. I seem to be pulled through so many different motions that it seems like my life is destined to be on a constant loop of FUCK!!!!!!

I really wanted to just end there but I don’t think that’s hugely fitting. I’d say there was one option to sorting out the main problem with my life at the moment, Uni work (well really theres two but dropping out isn’t an option) become a social recluse, stay in don’t go out (of which I dont really do much anyway :S ) and just work solidly every single day and expand my online portfolio further but then again this would cause my already failing relationship to suffer even more, where I would probably end up getting angry texts or phone calls about why I was being such a dick. I just really don’t know what else to do anymore maybe being a fuckup of a puppet isn’t that bad but bloomin heck what do I know!

Time to end this major out the blue rant. I guess I’ve just gotta work at stuff but then again along with Laura I am tempted to go see the uni shrink. I’m thinking it could help me to consider what I’m really all about and if what iv’e got going is really all that bad. I do love my partner but then again I just cant stand things sometimes. Time will tell I guess. I’l leave with a quote that’s stood quite true for what I feel at the moment (coincidently used in a piece of uni work)

“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.” Carl Sandburg

This month I was in London with my best friend Sarah Edser to see Biffy Clyro at Brixton Academy.

On the way to an Art exhibition in Camden, we saw this giant billboard for Biffy. Just had to snap it!

Having a few drinks at our favorite pub in Camden. The Worlds End. i noticed this little G-Wiz. I do massively love these cars, would never get one though!

About to go into Brixton Academy

Biffy Clyro just came on this is the first song, The crowd was going mad already!

Really love this photo, about 3 songs in and it was so good!

Slowed down a notch for a slower ballad. Biffy are so amazing live and this crowd is awesome!

Back to the usual heavy Biffy. About halfway through the set.

Time for those massive tubular lights to come into action. This caused more ooohhhh’s than fireworks night!

Full on thrashing away, have to admit i did get a little headbangy at this point which is a rarity for me!

Time for another ballad, I love that guitar!

This is The Captain you can tell theyre working up to something big!

Towards the end of the final song. Mountains these pyro’s just came outa nowhere really magical and a great end to an amazing gig!

Right so that’s this months 12 of 12 decembers should be a laugh gotta love christmas time and everything!

This year has seriously been a musical blur. I’ve seen a lot of my favorite bands and I feel that this year truly is one of the best for music with Maxïmo Park, The Maccabees, Yeah Yeah Yeah’s and White Lies hitting my top spots. My first ever proper festival experience has also been had this year, jumped in at the deep end and went to glastonbury 2009! amazing place with amazing music. I’d highly recommend it to anyone who is doubtful about going, it’s a peaceful and serene place where you can get fully into the music or just chill out and watch from a distance the amount of art projects and activity’s there is insane and will keep you busy for all 4 days. Some of my Photos are below with the rest avaliable to view by clicking here and here

With Reading 2009 later this year and a series of gigs and smaller festivals in my summer of music its going to be busy this year!

I start at AUCB in 2 months :S taking my foundation diploma in art and design with my A-level results coming in just under a month! busy times indeed for me. right that’s enough blogging for one day. Next will probably be a review of Underage Festival 2009! (much easier to review a one day festival than a 4 day one). Then results day :S

First hot cross bun of the year and the first food shot of the day! I don’t normally like hot cross buns but these from M&S are pretty lush!

Right so down to college work now, it’s a double graphics lesson and i’m frantically working on a 3d text displayed piece of work, with text across 3 faces of a cube, this involved alot of skewing, way too much skewing (and as a side not I really don’t like doing graphics on a 15 inch screen its just painful!)

LOLS robbie looks very confused in our Double Photography Lesson, thank god we are back to the Macs I can work with macs.

On the bus home from college and sarah is reading something i think its history work, with becky looking rather tired, 5 hours at college does that to you!!!

This was just before my xbox died on me, anyone on my twitter probs saw my insane cursing at xbox in general and their xbox support telephone line. as a warning if your xbox goes into watercolor mode like this ITS GOING TO DIE!!!!

Right so this is my second xbox 360 to break but this one is being sent off for repairs so ill have 3 weeks without my 360 this is probably going to mean i’ll finish spore finally!

all the games I have yet to finish but cant now and I was so close to finishing gears 2!

dinner for the day consists of egg fried rice and sweet and sour chicken from waitrose   YUM

Starting my work for the evening reading some books on advertising and doing some out of hours work for Boots, healthcare revision doesn’t do itself!

One benefit of no xbox is that i can do all my work and reading for the past 2 months done, and well finishing to learn PHP.

Watching some lost before skins is avaliable on c4 catchup partway through Series 2 loves it!

Watching skins on c4 catchup, I wish c4 would just move their standard to quicktime or flash like bbc iPlayer im fed up of using a virtual machine to watch it!

Right so thats my 12 of 12 over for feb sorry it wasnt very interesting this month massive coursework deadlines this month, next will be better!

And yes! I’m still here, many would wish I wasn’t but hey your stuck with me. My reason for not blogging since the 12th of December is College, yup good ol Brockenhurst College is keeping me busy as per usual, i’d love to have posted since in fact I had a good bye 2008 post talking about stuff that was great about 2008 and what I was looking fowards to in 2009 but that fell apart like……..flat pack furniture without nuts and bolts! (I should never come up with metaphors) which reminds me the jolly blue and yellow super brand IKEA is opening soon, upon which I loathe mainly because it just causes alot of traffic problems. But hey at least it’s a few hundred jobs for people in the area! Right soton council :@.

Anyway moving on from politics, you may have noticed I had updated the home page to my site in preperation for my portfolio and dare I say it corporate rebranding, Yups I’m tempted to start a business! Idea will probably fade faster than the cream on your mocha (really need to stop).

I am going to start blogging about some of the work that I am producing at this point in time as a sort of design diary charting my progress and showing off work from the past, present and future whilst I construct my portfolio. So what has the past month and a half done for me, well I’m running windows 7 on my iMac as are half the tech world (not on iMacs just in general) quite like it and all my drivers are seemingly working so far. Apart from that I’ve powered my way through prince of Persia and mirrors edge whilst attempting to revise for my final exams before June! This left plenty of time for drinking at the pub and ultimatly Australia day which I wouldn’t have undertaken if it wasn’t for the free fosters hat!! O I also pierced my ear! A mini 12 of 12 consisting of 9 photos are at the bottom mainly cus I didn’t have enough time to do it this month!!

first image of the day is where I’ve succumbed to Xmas fever and got around to changing my background but its not too Xmasy so its ok with me!

yup that’s right I was still awake at 3:03 am, reason…. Photography coursework. I haven’t had a very fun time with coursework at the moment so a clear gap of no work over the holidays should sort me out good and proper (new website with portfolio content coming soon) the clock is predicting sun….. I couldn’t see it happening myself

First photo from inside college this was about 10:30 and I had a meeting with Jason Walker about my progress on my coursework at college and if I would be taken off of college contract.

Second lesson from my double computing set, very hard to get a good photo without looking like a twat in class!

Waiting at brockenhurst station to get a train to work in Romsey, just missed the one I wanted because they was a queue at the cash point, so instead I had to wait 30 mins for my next train in the rain proving my right about the clock’s bad prediction of the weather.

At least I’m on time for my train 2nd time around!, it’s very long winded getting to Romsey you have to get a train to London Waterloo getting off at Southampton Central before getting the train to Romsey.

Time for work and I still don’t have a replacement badge with my proper name on it, I’m not Jocob! working straight through from 2pm to half 7 today

Quick snap of the xmas tree at work during my break it has Snowmen and everything! somebody overdid the tinsel at the base though

Back from work now and after a very nice curry from Waitrose it’s time to test out Sonic Unleashed I really like this demo although it doesn’t feature the Werehog sections…..convient Sega! Might pick it up in the jan sales.

Rounding off the days gaming is Dead Space I borrowed it off a mate and I’m really hooked to it, something about it is just so captivating! I think this is level 7 maybe 8 I’m close to the end of the campaign now though!

Just 15 minutes left of the 12th and I decided to swot up on Pete Cullen’s 12 of 12 for the day with the obligatory food shot! (no food in my photo’s this week forgot!)

Finally this mess laid out before you is what I need to tidy before I can go to bed tonight depressing isn’t it!

Right 12 of 12 numero uno done!

]]> http://jacobcoy.com/blog/2008/12/12-of-12-december/feed/ 9 http://jacobcoy.com/blog/2008/12/update-time/ http://jacobcoy.com/blog/2008/12/update-time/#comments Wed, 10 Dec 2008 00:57:10 +0000 Jacob http://jacobcoy.com/blog/?p=76 Sooo it’s been a long time since I last published a post so around the holiday season seems like the best time to do it!

The main reason I’ve been absent from the blog is down to college work, all 3 of my subjects have had coursework deadlines for December so I’ve been working hard on getting all my work finished and ready to hand in! Some of which you will be able to see soon on the new site I’m working on for my portfolio to submit to prospective art colleges and unis. Speaking of unis where is everyone applying, currently I’ve got Bournemouth Arts Institute and Nottingham Trent buckled down as place I like with a possible option of Brighton. Although I will most likely be going to BAI because I will need a foundation for most unis which is a bummer but if it needs to be done then so be it!

Gaming wise I’ve been a bit absent recently with a bit of fallout 3, Call Of Duty World At War and Dead Space, with only Call Of Duty’s story completed I need to catch up during the holidays. Gamerscore stands at just over 30,000, you can see my avatar in my gamercard shown in the sidebar!
Anyway back to xmas preperation catch you laters!!

Although even though it may have been created with children in mind bit I think it still appeals to older people also. Personally I found the art style refreshing, I haven’t ever seen the cartoon series that precided the film, but it really did look nice! I particularly liked the chunkyness of it and it gave me the impression of a very well made video game cutscene, granted the graphics did lack in some places although it’s very easy to overlook this because the film itself is entertaining. The main plot of the film is designed to fill in the gaps between the early episodes, the film jumps straight into the action depicting a fight between the clones and the droids where you are introduced to the main characters. I found this section to be one of the most captivating due to the “camera” work used this put you right into the action! As the film progressed though it seemed that this focus on having a solid camera base to work from degraded down to the usual distanced and mindless lightsaber duels with the usual blaster shot zooming past!

One thing about the film which was used to great effect was the charector development, by giving the leader of the clones being named and a personality you were given a real connection to him which caused you to actually care about him when further events happen in the film! The rest of the charectors were also developed well and even well known charectors such as obi-wan and anakin were given a certain amount of development to give new audiences a feel for their backgrounds and traits.

Overall the film was great in parts although I felt that it lacked meaning in some parts and as such the story lost a sense of captivation but still an acceptable film, although I would wait till a DVD is released upon which I could imagine it would be cheaper than standard DVDs.

**
2 out of 5 stars